When I was in college my freshman year I had a lot of anxiety. Like most people I thought it was only me but in hindsight it was almost every college student. You’re away from home. Not many friends around. Have to manage you’re own money. And in general trying to build a new life and start your individual self. One of the smart things that I did was use the free service of the college to talk to people. Think of it as a therapist but in this case they really couldn’t advise, but merely ask questions back and give suggestions in question form. They were mostly grad students or PHD students. It was pretty simple but it was nice to talk to someone my own age and really just talk to someone that seemed wiser than me.
I have taken many of the things they told me back then and use them to this day. While I still have things I worry about, in general, I haven’t had much anxiety in the last 25 years that didn’t involve family relationships at the nursery. I still write down my thoughts to analyze my issues. I ask myself questions like
“If this blows up and gets worse what are the repercussions?”
“What are the best results and the worst results that can happen?”
“What are the chances of each and is there anything I can do that will swing them towards the better results”
“If I were to do this again what would I have done differently?”
Often when I go through these questions I realize there is nothing I can do. What’s done is done and I just have to wait for the result. And deal with it then. I have come up with an ability to shut it off until that happens. Take the weather for instance. It drastically effects my results and my life at the nursery. Rain stops crews and retail traffic and can cost me 10s of thousand per day. Snow means I have to get crews ready and I lose precious sleep. Yet I don’t worry about it. There is not a damn thing I can do other than try and prepare a little for whatever happens. But there is no reason to be upset about it. I have enough decisions to make based on things I can control to worry about the things I can’t. Easier said than done I know but you can mentally work yourself into that mindset with decades of practice.
By writing things down I also realize that I tended to get all emotional based on the worst case scenario. When in reality it never ended up that bad. The result was generally an inconvenience more than a big problem. Over the years I now end up saying “It will all work out fine” because it does. 99% of the time no matter what happens things eventually find their way back to norm. I tell employees and family that now. “It will be fine but lets not do that or let’s try and do this next time”. It is more calming rather than blasting them and acting like they just caused a terrible result.
While I’m certainly not the wise old owl, I am definitely more calm than I used to be. I still exaggerate results too much for effect but I am toning it back. Still writing and going back to the questions above and adjusting my reactions.
Quote of the Day: “If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too.” – Ivan Nuru
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UROHealth.com
VapeVillage.com
Wapple.net
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I’m reading “Stillness is the Key” by Ryan Holiday. A lot of wisdom from a fairly wise young man. I just finished the chapter on journaling. Some of the greatest people in history kept a journal, or at least got their thoughts out of their head onto paper.
I don’t journal often enough. But when I feel stressed or overwhelmed I *always* find myself resorting to writing. Tony Robbins always says – “if you want a better outcome, ask yourself better questions” This is definitely one way to do it.
Wisdom.
Thanks Bar for the comment. I’ll have to add that to my reading list. Writing stuff down has always worked for me. I don’t really keep a diary per se but rather just jot stuff down. Started in 1990 so its interesting to pull an old notebook out and take a look. I looked last year at a 1993 page and I had one of my big goals as a nice television. Funny how things change 🙂