You too can live the life of wealth and arrogance that men dream of with my helpful tips. With the help of myself and several “development” companies I can take your $5000 domain and bring in nickel after nickel…….all while you sleep. I know what you’re thinking. This sounds to good to be true. I can earn over .23% per month return by doing nothing? Yes you can, but there are a few keys things that have to be followed or you could screw yourself and accidentally make a few hundred a month and you wouldn’t want to be stuck with all those tax bills, would you? Here are my 10 Rules to Making Big Money in Development aka “It’s all about the Washingtons”
1. Buy a $500 to $5000 domain. Some say it needs to be a product domain or a dot com but we treat them all the same so it really doesn’t matter
2. Put up an awesome logo. Logos make the cash. People buy stuff when a company has an awesome logo. See the arches of McDonalds? You’re hungry aren’t you? You can’t control yourself from spending $7 on a super sized Southern chicken meal. I rest my case
3. Put the price range of your items on the left. This is an industry secret that now is revealed. People like to shop by price categories. Most people think they’re looking for a new scarf but in reality, they are looking for something between $10-$20.
4. Every once in a while drop the feeds from your site. It keeps the customers excited about what new products you have. They think it’s like Apple when they shut down the online store to announce new products. You don’t have any new products, just a bad feed, but they don’t know it.
5. It’s all about quantity not quality. 67 cents a month adds up fast. Think about it. 1000 times 67 cents is ……….well……….a lot, so put up as many of these things as you can
6. Link the shit out of your sites. I mean a link to every other site and back. People don’t have a long attention span so make sure to promote the other sites and get them moving on to your next site. Eventually they’ll click something.
7. Call in an SEO specialist. SEO stands for Should Eventually Optimize. You want to hire someone that will continue to tell you that eventually you’ll make money. It makes you feel good and sleep better. This takes a special personality and is a real talent. I will also use this person to call my mortgage company to tell them my mortgage is going to be a little late.
8. Give free links on your site to other sites you don’t own or make money on. I know what you’re saying. “I paid money for this site to be built, why should I link to sites I don’t own?” Quit being a dick, share the wealth. You’re making HUGE change, give a little. I’m pretty sure all those links at the bottom to other people’s sites are feeding some poor starving baby in Africa. Be happy, those links keep your site from costing double.
9. Don’t get attached to your site. We don’t want this to get personal. People break up, it’s a fact of life. So don’t go putting too much time into your site. Eventually you’ll go to some domaining event and boom, you’ve just swapped pinkbabybooties.info for orangepianokeys.org and now “boom goes the dynamite” you’re in the Music Business.
10. 5000 Visits is the “sweet spot” . With these highly targeted sites 5000 visits per week is when you start rolling in the dough. When you hit those kind of numbers you could easily be making $1.25 to $1.30 per week. Two years later and yup, that’s right. You’ve got enough to buy another site
Hmmm. Shane….you are awesome! I never thought to link the shit out of my sites but you are right: I’ll quit being a dick and share the wealth.
Since you made me feel bad about myself I ended up putting your banner on my site. I hope this makes up for it.
:). Sharing the wealth. Pay it forward ie let someone else make the money.
f-ing funny. The money is in picks and shovels 😉
I put on a nice crisp shirt and my favorite cologne, but was highly disappointed when I arrived at SwapFest to find out it was NOT a Swingers Convention!
🙁
LMAO @ Dean
hmmmmmmmm… are we speaking of anyone in particular?
Nobody in particular. By the way, want to sell earmuffs?
Shane,
I am offering pinkfuzzypolkadotearmuffssite.org at a nominal price if you are interested. $5,000 or best offer takes it, so don’t think about it too long.
Ok, so you want to play hardball, I will throw in that bridge in Brooklyn and make it an even $7,000.
Just send the money via Paypal to my Singapore address, I only take small unmarked denomination bills.
Hilarious, and unfortunately, too true.
Offered received by PM. Now at $435,000 🙂
Thanks Shane, you da man!
I realize pinkfuzzypolkadotearmuffssite.org is not for everybody it’s a “niche” site, but just think you now have that market cornered.
Jeez, waddya want for two and a half bucks? A corn field at sunset?
YER BITTER.
I love a cornfield at sunset. I think naive is a better word for me
I almost spit Diet Coke all over my laptop when I read that 🙂 Classic!
Nice write up, true too 😀