The other day I found out that it’s not a good idea to try and eat a piece of General Tso’s chicken while operating a vehicle. I think I subconsciously knew that the odds of a bad outcome were pretty high. But I’ve pushed the odds before, sometimes you win, and sometimes you end up with sauce and fried rice all over the vehicle, your pants, and in every tiny crevice.
It’s not like I expected to eat the whole meal while driving, I just wanted a little taste, just a small morsel to whet my appetite in preparation for the fattening MSG feast to come. Instead I got to eat one egg roll. It worked out, cuz my fat ass didn’t need to eat all that food. There’s a principle in there somewhere, probably something about, patience or good things coming to those that wait. But I don’t know, obviously I have trouble employing good principles.
Do you know how f-ing hard it is to find all the fried rice that you’ve scattered around the vehicle? It’s like each kernel has a mind of its own, flees from the light and tries to hide.
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ActivateHappy.com Change your outlook, start the happy
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AverageFolk.com Nothing crazy about them, just normal people
BestThingToday.com the best products or ideas, either literally on this day or today as in the greater sense of the present
BlueRehab.com therapy for depression
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LimitPlay.com Control the amount of time your kids play video games
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ReliefAssistant.com help getting the relief you need
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RetroTalk.com Talk about the old times
SirFrog.com Sounds like a bar
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