My Grandmother passed a few days ago. I don’t say this searching for I’m sorrys and my thoughts are with yous. I share it because her life is the life you hope for. All 95 years with a mind full of thoughts and the ability to relay them. Sharing her memories and smiles fully coherent until the last few weeks. Sure she slowed up, could barely walk, and suffered from what old age hands you, but she filled out a full life as well as can be done. I didn’t see my Grandmother very often but my Mom lived with her the last decade plus to help her in her later years. Sharing every single minute and there was not one day they didn’t speak. Were as close at a Mom and daughter can be. So its harder for my Mom. But I assured her that like Grandma, she got the full experience. She had zero regrets at the end. They did and saw and talked about everything there was to cover. They did it right. So her death is not sadness but celebration of a life well lived. 100% we are going to miss her. She was Mom, Grandma, Aunt, and Great Grandma to dozens. She was a part of so many lives. And she will continue to be part of all of our lives.
One of the gifts my Grandmother gave me is something that served me well. She always put the relationship of her and her husband before the kids. The kids took it a little rough but she always felt that the kids would come and go. She wanted Grandpa and her bond to be strong so that when the kids did leave they knew each other as a couple and not just as parents. Turns out that is the biggest cause of divorce. When the kids leave the parents don’t have the thing that kept the bond. They look at each other and realize the person they loved is a different person. She never lost that person. Sometimes the kids felt it but there was plenty of love to go around, she just made sure Grandpa Joe had as much as her beautiful kids. The other thing that I always remember is a letter she wrote to my Mother. My Mom gave me a box of letters that my Dad and my Grandparents wrote to her in college. She was getting a divorce from my Father and wanted me to keep them safe because her anger at the time might lead to getting rid of memories I might want to have. I have never read those letters. I’m not ready. But I did read the top one. My Mom met my Dad and college and my Dad had come out of the service to go back to school and was quite a bit older. My Grandparents were not a fan of this older man. So this letter essentially said that in many more words. But a few words stood out to me. “Nothing good will come from this relationship”. I begged to differ. I came out of that relationship. So I told Grandma she was right about my Dad. He wasn’t good for my Mom. BUT…..some great things came out of it. 3 great kids.
I’ll miss my Grandmother but my current feelings are for my Mom. I know how much she’ll miss her since she’s always been with her. The positive is my Mom is going to move to my town now. She no longer has to take care of my Grandma and has some freedom. She can now do whatever she wants and its my turn to make sure she has some incredible last decades. She also gets to sell a California home and buy an Illinois home which should work out well. While I hate to lose a Grandmother I sure am glad to be getting my Mom close. And not just because I need someone to watch Franklin
Domain of the Day: Cohen.org VERY popular last name, thus all the bids
Quote of the Day: “You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.” -Albert Einstein
Click on any of the links to see current price
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I was beyond close with my Grandmother, and like you who I worried about was my Mother, they were beyond close, so much so that when my grandmother turned 80 I started to prepare my Mother for my Grandmother’s eventual passing because she never thought her Mom would pass. She lived to 83.
My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
Thank you Raymond. It’s always hard to prepare for the end. I guess the cliche but the truth is to live each day like its important and the rest will take care of itself. Again, thanks for the thoughts