How Chef Patrick got his new job
Chef Patrick was bragging to his prospective new bosses at Moniker one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Patrick, how about Rick Latona?”
“No dramas boss, Rick and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”
So Patrick and his boss fly out to Rick’s house and knock on his door, and Rick Latona shouts, “Chef! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, The guy from Moniker is still sceptical. After they leave Rick’s house, he tells Chef that he thinks him knowing Rick was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Patrick says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts. “Yup,” Patrick say’s, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington and off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Chef on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Patrick, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”
Well, the guy from Moniker is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Chef, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“The Pope,” his prospective boss replies
“Sure!” says Chef. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.
Chef and Mr. Moniker are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Chef says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”
He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Chef Patrick emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Chef returns, he finds that the guy from Moniker has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss’ side, Chef asks him, “What happened?”
His new employer looks up and says, “It was the final straw … you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who the fuck is that on the balcony with Chef Patrick?”