Although I Wish I Were There: 10 Great Things That Will Happen By Me Not Going to DomainFest

Apr 01 2014

I do wish I could go to DomainFest.  It’s the classiest of all the Domain conferences with no corners cut.  Best entertainment, best food, and great conversation.  But there are a few things I stand to benefit from by missing the party

1.  Sleep:  I’m going to get it.  As much as I love Morgan Linton and Braden Pollock, my body can only stand so many 3 am, meet at the bar and have some fun talking business until daylight, rendezvous.  There is a reason I am always sick after domain conferences

2.  I won’t have to forget some of the things I saw after people have been drinking.  After my dirty dancing with the Playboy girls a few years ago I lost trust with a few of the female domain investors. I’m not sure if they thought I was a cheater (I’m not marriage wise but did cut a few corners at the Chicago marathon one year) or were very disappointed with my awful dancing.  I’ve seen more than my fair share of things that been engrained into my head that I can’t forget. It’s hard to do business and look at someone the same after they’ve thrown up on your shirt and told you about the time they dressed up as a circus clown and blown coke up 2 girls butts at a Czechoslovakian bath house.

3.  I can get my daily lists up.  I have only missed 20 or so days putting up my daily list in the last 4 years but 15 of those were at domain conferences.  It is almost impossible to get “regular” work done when you’re at these things.  There is too much entertainment and too much talking to break away.  Or maybe I treat conferences like vacation and choose not to work.  Either way I don’t

4.  I don’t have to pretend like I have lots of meetings.  Everyone I talk to at conferences seem like they have a million meetings so I started to book meetings.  Then I realized that I was booking so many meetings that I felt rushed instead of relaxed.  So at Namescon I pretended like I had a bunch of meetings and only took a few.  But I acted like I was booked solid so I would seem cool and important even though I am neither.

5. I don’t have to find out who are the bullshitters and who are the real sellers.  At domain conferences,  the Non Disclosures are thrown out the window.  Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the fact there is no proof of conversation, but conferences are the time when you find out who REALLY sold names and who is bullshitting you with the non disclosure thing.  As long as you can keep your mouth shut people will share.

6. I’m not going to have to smile and watch some of the people completely ignore me.  99% percent of all domain conference attendees are fantastic people.  If they don’t know you they will come up and shake your hand and introduce themselves.  Then there is a group that could give two shits about you and show it in their actions and the glances away when you make eye contact.  Even when you do come up they look over your shoulder and pray someone will come bail them out of the conversation.   Again, there are very few of these people but they exist and I don’t and won’t forget them.

7.  I won’t get stuck with $1000 bar or food bill.  Every few conferences I spend too much money going out.  Hell, one year my own Mother got me for a $300 dinner at Prime.  It’s not so much as you want to show off as you get caught up in the moment.  I feel bad when the same people pay for everything so I’ll step up and say I’m in before I know how much in is.   A few words of caution though.  If you have the pleasure of going out with Merlin Kaufman or Ammar Kubba.  Their normal is not most people’s normal.

8.  I won’t have to talk to the “yuck mouths”.  As my daughter called them when she was young.  It happens at every conference and not just domain conferences.  You would think that people realized they would be talking, up close, to hundreds of people, yet toothpaste or gum have evaded their morning routine.  And of course they always want to talk to you in the loudest room so they have to get close. I put my ear closer because my ear can’t smell

9.  I won’t have to work as hard for a few months.  There are going to be amazing people at DomainFest.  People that have accomplished grand things that inspire me. Every time I come home from a conference I want to work harder.  To accomplish some of the things I have learned or witnessed.  Now that I’m not there I can keep up my old ways.

10. I can remain online enemies with a few people.  Every time I go to these damn conferences I realize the people I bicker with are real human beings and have feelings.  Its nice to avoid this realization for a while and keep up the fun

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Outsmarting the Dumb, Outworking the Smart

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  1. Drunk Poster

    Loved the personal tone to the article & revealing the downsides of the -‘fests’ but you can get away with it because those guys will be at too many meetings to read any blogs…

    When you mention the ignorers, is it the bigger names that do this… I would imagine so as they may be 100% business-minded, and always looking to catch the big fish?

  2. mr ar

    If one isolates domains registered from the hotel WIFI’s IP during the days the domain conference is happening, one can piece together all conversations people had.

    Here is what I mean, you talk to someone and you say “and then last night we had some really good coffee at…” All of a sudden they are making notes to check if “LastNightCoffee is avail. if not maybe ReallyGoodCoffee etc” If they are real sheep they are checking it in the new gld’s too.

    For the most part you have people walking around blabbling about domains they are sitting on, doing nothing with, thinking it’s worth more than it is. Domains they asked a broker to sell for them whereas the brokers entire rep is based on a fancy webpage.

    If there where more people into domaining i’d make a comedy short.

    Big joke!

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