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There is Always Somebody Better Than You ….And That’s OK

People are defensive.  The less confident you are,  the more likely you will react to anything negative that comes your way.  But the reality is this. There is always going to be someone better than you at something that you do.  There is only person that is THE best at something and the billion other people are not. The difference between an adult and a child is the ability to recognize the difference between I Can’t and I won’t.   A child thinks they can’t achieve something, an adult realizes they can achieve almost anything but the won’t want to put the time and effort necessary to reach that goal because it would take away from so many other things.

As humans we love to come up with excuses why we aren’t better at something.  It usually comes down to time, money, or information.  The first one is a reality but the fact of the matter is when most people say they don’t have the time they are not telling the truth.  People MAKE time for things they want to do.  You don’t have time to make it to your wife’s Christmas party but somehow you found a way to take time off of work to go to Vegas with your friends.  You want something bad enough, you make time.   Mark Cuban said something on Shark Tank that stayed with me.  He instantly said no to a guy on SharkTank because he was an Ironman.  He said that he would never invest in a guy that does triathlons.  He said a guy that trains 15 hours a week is wasting time that could be put into his business.  And that is absolutely true.  Hobbies take time that could be spent on your business.  It is why there are people that will be better than you. They go all in when most people mix their time among several different things.  I have come to the realization that I can never be great or the best at anything I do because I don’t want to go all in.  This is not a defeatist attitude, this is an intelligent attitude that acknowledges reality. Something that many people have difficulty doing because they take it personal that they may not be very good at something.

There are hundreds of men and women that are better domain investors than me.  Yet I still do pretty well.  I have set a goal that is realistic and I try and achieve it.  I originally set a goal of $10K profit each year.  Then I moved it to $30K and now it’s $50K.  I will move it to $100K.  Owen Frager reminds me daily that Schilling puts that much in his change jar each night.   I am wise enough to know that I am not Frank Schilling.  I am not jealous of Frank.  I admire Frank and love to hear his approach to making money.  Perhaps it will help me make more but beyond that I have nothing invested.  I am not star struck by those that have achieved more than I.  I only want to know what it took to get there and then analyze IF I would make certain investments is it possible to achieve and if it is, is that where I want to be.   I do this with everything, from being an actor, to running certain businesses, to achieving athletic goals.  As a 43 year old man that has had a ton of failures and successes I now can make accurate predictions of potential to achieve certain things.  And the answer to most of them is “Nope, not possible”

Again, this is not negative, its reality.  A reality that will help you achieve real goals and expand. Letting you have little victories along the way.  Keep you setting that bar higher until you reach that point where you can decide if you want to “go all in”.  Criticism of a guy that isn’t as good at something is meaningless.  Even if they think they are the best. It is the biggest problem I have.  I have always felt it was my duty to try and make people realize they aren’t as good as they think they are.  I realize it’s wrong, and each year I get a little better, but I still keep trying to put mirrors in front of other people when I should be worrying about my own.  The ironic part is I am even harder on myself.  Making sure that I am realistic about where I stand and what I can accomplish with what I’m willing to put forward.  I work my ass off at a lot of stuff and yet my returns are mediocre.  It’s because I put it into too many things.  I am good at a ton of things, I am great at none.

So I’ll leave you with this. Don’t worry about what others are doing in domain investing.  Don’t worry about others calling your domains pigeon shit.  But DO listen.  Listen because if one person says that you have bad domains then they may be just trying to get your goat.  If two people say that your portfolio has no value then it might just be chance.  But if 5 people tell you the same thing then they are right and you need to change directions if you hope to achieve success.  There is no such thing as everyone else being wrong.  Divvy up your time wisely.  Use it wisely but expect the results to be a direct relation to the effort put in.  Don’t be upset when someone is better than you because they worked harder at it.  Only worry about whether you got the results YOU expected from your effort.  Jealousy is the homage mediocrity pays to those that work harder ….or something like that.

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19 Replies to “There is Always Somebody Better Than You ….And That’s OK”

  1. “But if 5 people tell you the same thing then they are right and you need to change directions if you hope to achieve success”.- Shane

    This is true except at Elliot’s blog, where his readers parrot whatever he says. So, 5 people at Elliot’s blog is really one person, Elliot. 😉

  2. Actually, there is a better description of what one should strive to be: different. When you simply follow the flow of others, you will never learn to lead. Politics aside, a person is one of seven billion DNA permutations on this planet. One cannot be best in everything they do. Once you recognize that and respect others for being different, you will be respecting your own self.

  3. Ok let me get this straight, you are a blogger, a domain investor, a farmer, a actor and a triathlete. Holy Hell batman! You’re, and Yes its available.

    1. Henry,

      Not an actor but when I retire I plan on moving to Laguna Beach and then having fun trying out for bit parts. I figured it would be fun if you don’t have to worry about making money. I prefer Team Shane

  4. I saw you said this

    ” I do this with everything, from being an actor, to running certain businesses, to achieving athletic goals. “

    1. Henny,

      I should be more clear. I’ve always wanted to act and do comedy but just never wanted to make the commitment to move to LA or NY, starve, and give up everything. I knew I could never make it because I wouldn’t go “all in” It’s still something I want to do. I just may have to play the Grandpa

  5. Ironically, I have been thinking about this kind of thoughts all day today.

    In life, if you have fear to lose something, you can never have a passion to gain something. In my life I feared to do this, and tried to fix everything in my life etc, and then lead my life. But sometimes, you will just have to leave some of the things alone, and DO NOT fear of losing something, and then just go ahead, and invest in something that you have a passion of doing, things DO work out in the end!!

  6. Enjoyable post and very true, if one meets their own goals then nothing else matters except setting higher goals for the next time period.

  7. Great advice Shane, think it has something to do with the age we’re at (I’m 42) and knowing which things to prioritize.

    I find myself in a similar situation, I’m not the best designer / programmer / seo guy etc, but put everything together and the sum of parts is a whole lot better than being ‘the best’ in any one field.

    Though I must say, blowing off my wife’s party to go with friends to Vegas takes more than I’m willing to give, lol.

  8. Not many reasonable people believe that they’re the absolute best at some non-personal pursuit, so I like to say “If you’re one-in-a-million, there are 7000 better than you.”

    On a related note, a wise friend once told me that almost everyone was the best – if only for the while – at his own specific job.

  9. I’ve been a subscriber to your list for a while now, and I’ve bought more than one domain (and website) that you’ve put on here. I think your list is the best one out of the lot, and I subscribe to a few. At least you make the effort to say why you think a name has value, some people just list the domains with the most bidders.

  10. Nice post Shane, the last paragraph especially.

    Samit you make an excellent point that I was thinking. You are 42, Shane 43 and I am 45. It is about the age, reading this post today I agree 100 %, at 25 I would never have agreed.

  11. From an adult perspective if someone is outsmarting the dumb, outworking the smart then more power to them! 😉 Irony here is that superman can’t be in two places at once— that is to say no matter how good one is you can’t succeed in every arena merely win more times than lose (domain profiteering).

    If one reflects on personal goals and capabilities then one can realistically achieve the goals they set for themselves regardless of the adversity ahead of them.

    As you’ve written there’s always going to be bigger meaner cats in the jungle but keeping to your personal goals will always see you though! 🙂

  12. I’ve never really thought of things that way.

    Mind. Blown.

    I must get back into reading all the domaining blogs again, if I’m missing gems like this!

    I wish you the best of luck with your future acting endeavours 🙂

  13. Loved this post Shane, I could not agree with your message here.
    Iast year I turned 40 in the months proceeding I found myself reflecting on the many things I had NOT achieved. I eventually got sick of this and started to acknowledge all the things I had achieved. I then realised that ALL of my achievements were the direct result of being open to learning from and sharing with others irrespective of age. The result is that I have grown my confidence in all that I do and what I am capable of.
    Enjoy TRAFFIC – unfortunately I won’t be there.

  14. Hi Shane – just re-read my comment. In my opening line I meant to say “I could not agree more…” apologies for my missing typing.
    It reads very different missing a single word like that! Iain.

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