Happy St Paddy’s day! I’m working today, but in the past I’ve enjoyed taking in the pub and listening to bagpipers that make their way from bar to bar.
Yesterday all the PA restaurants got shut down so I won’t be missing anything this year. So if you’re in the mood find a group of friends (only find a max of 9 other people) and celebrate Irish day at someone’s home.
I laughed reading about Shane’s toilet paper fight. I’m sure it’s the same everywhere, but everyone I know seems dumbfounded at the rampant toilet paper consumption. It’s almost like a joke someone pulled, where they social media’ed a run on toilet paper and it became a self fulfilling prophecy. No one was really crazed about buying a shit load of it, they just wanted to get some before everyone else did.
Here’s the thing, and I know from years of experience, Most people don’t really need toilet paper. Obviously there’s all the overplayed jokes of using socks or underwear, but why not just jump in the shower, rinse that bad boy off?
Then there’s paper towels, and don’t let the fear of clogging the toilet stop you. The trick to wiping your ass with paper towels is to pull the 2 ply apart and use each side individually. It’s not very soft, but it gets the job done.
Try shopping at places like Advanced Auto or Home depot and buy washable shop towels. Maybe they’ve had a run on these things but I doubt it.
There’s always tissues, and for that matter tissue paper, you know the stuff that they wrap gifts in. That’ll clean you up pretty well. Go to Goodwill or any thrift store and buy some old shirts. They sell those things for like 25 cents, your problem is solved and the money goes to a good cause.
You could also try eating things that harden your stool, it comes out a lot neater, if it even comes out at all, but there’s less mess and you might not even have to wipe.
The key is to think outside the box, don’t let a little thing like over demand get you down.
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